1. First off, learn how to animate (please note, this may take years to effectively master).
2. Study to the point of vague skillfulness the art of writing and producing original music (er, hate to tell you this, but this could also take years to achieve).
3. Learn how to design, develop, optimise, test and effectively market a beautifully presented, standards compliant, accessible, mobile-friendly, secure ecommerce website with integrated blog functionality (that’ll take an age, sheesh).
4. Thoughtfully consider and compose a shed-load of related blog posts that will work effectively in search engines, as well as on the content marketing and social media front (again, this may go on a wee while).
5. Grow, nurture, test and refine an original and bloody good (some would say deranged) sense of humour. This comes naturally to some (the humour, not the derangement).
8. Sticking closely to your unique and highly creative idea, and whilst also avoiding the impulse to keep drawing upon your ever-growing sound effects library of bizarre phrases, add your current collection of crazy Chris Moyles Radio X Show samples to the song that you wrote and carefully remix, edit and produce a new “comedy” version. Please note, this may make you laugh a lot. Please also note, that this may utterly ruin the original song for you.
9. Having finished the song (above), come up with a totally unique, novel and penetrative idea for the animation, based on the bizarre rantings of comedy “news reader” Dominic Byrne. Penetrative ideas work best as they get lodged in heads of the casual observer, much like stray darts thrown by the village idiot.
10. Tirelessly (and I must stress tirelessly) search the interweb for photos of Dannii from Babestation. Repeat as necessary. This may take several attempts. If you want a photo without her boobs out this can prove very difficult/enjoyable (delete as appropriate).
10. Realise that after spending hours, days, weeks, months trying to find the “perfect” photo of Dannii from Babestation (without her boobs out) that using a photo of a “professional actress” without her permission could possibly infringe on her image rights and maybe, just maybe, could be a bad call.
11. Come up with an amazing new idea to feature someone called “Danny” from another station. Petrol? Train? Police !? Or some other pun-based alternative (be careful, you have to devise a pun).
12. Research, locate and Photoshop all related stock photography, imagery, props, signage (great word) and graphics so that you inadvertently end up with Windows Explorer looking as utterly bizarre as this (please note, no cat legs were severed from actual cats):
15. Load the song that you made earlier and the weird mix of imagery (above) into Flash (other animation software is also available) and begin to animate. Season to taste and allow to simmer for several days.
17. Consider the fact that if played on the Chris Moyles Radio X Show some people will see and hear the video on “Facetube”, but others will only hear the video. Mull over the consequences and ensure that your video sounds and looks funny (i.e. include visuals of Dom wearing women’s clothing whilst saying he likes mellons).
18. Add value (farts) to ensure that listeners and viewers get as much enriched enjoyment as possible. Please note, “enriched uranium” is no substitute for enriched enjoyment.
19. Test to the point of stiff boredom every single related element, including, but not limited to, your vigilantly hand-crafted website, the independent home-grown music, the securely hosted download store and painstakingly devised marketing strategy.
20. Write to Dominic Byrne on the Chris Moyles Radio X Show and hope to (in alphabetical order) Allah, Buda, Ganesha, God, Karttikeya, Shiva and Vishnu that all this work weren’t for nowt!
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